Do you agree with the ladder theory?


James: no cuz that would imply that I have many girls to chose from. so many that I must reject some and put them on "rungs." in fact I believe most guys don't have a ladder. they'll hit whatever they can get.

In another conversation:

My friend and I had a discussion, and in our discussion, we went over a few things. Most guys like every girl they come into contact with, but there are some girls that aren't liked..

He told me (verbatim) that fatness is probably an immediate red flag, and it's about the looks. Otherwise she better be pretty damn sweet, and only after getting to know her as super sweet then there might be a possibility. Personality counts a whole lot actually, but it just takes longer if she doesn't have the looks. A hot bitch gets ruled out pretty quickly, too. Personality can totally push an average girl over to being liked. That is their social adapatation. Guys are physically driven. It's just the underlying motivation that seems different. Guys want a body. If she looks good then that's that. Personality is the icing. A bitch makes the cake sour.

Ben says: "Like" is an inaccurate term when discussing the Ladder Theory. You can not "like" people who are low on your ladder, but it doesn't change the fact that they're still on the ladder (albeit low on it). As the theory states, it's more about how much you want to have sex with them.

And if you end up with a girl who is at the top of your ladder, it doesn't mean you'll never look elsewhere. Your ladder is limited to girls you know, so meeting new girls could change who's on "top". As Chris Rock said, "a man is only as faithful as his options." Options change, so do the rankings.

Plus I think novelty is part of a person's appeal, so some guys might get bored of a girl no matter how great she is (especially if it was mostly for looks). As someone once said, "show me a beautiful girl, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of f***ing her" (i.e. Hugh Grant).